Say What You Mean Online Course

Find the right words when it matters most.
Get the skills you need to listen deeply, speak clearly,
and make a difference.

October Promotion: Enroll now to get $50 off plus a free signed book!
 

Struggling to be heard or connect meaningfully? Discover how mindful communication can transform your conversations and relationships.

A companion to the best selling book, this online course provides step-by-step guidance to transform your conversations. Oren Jay Sofer’s integrated approach to communication training draws from decades of training in Buddhist meditation, Nonviolent Communication, and somatic trauma healing. 

If you’re ever struggled to find the right words in important moments, this course is for you. Download the course syllabus.

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What You Will Learn

Speak with clarity and confidence, listen deeply,
and enhance your relationships.

This course series gives you practical tools to:

  • Speak with clarity and confidence.

  • Listen deeply to understand others.

  • Navigate difficult conversations with ease.

  • Build stronger, more meaningful relationships.

Part I of this online course series helps you bring the foundational principles of Say What You Mean into your life and relationships. It covers the first half of Oren’s book, including core tools for presence, listening, and self-empathy. Learn more about Part I here.

Part II builds on the foundations of Part I and guides you to express yourself clearly and directly. It covers the second half of Oren’s book, including advanced skills for navigating challenging situations. Learn more about Part II here.

Save $150 with the course bundle. Questions? Check our FAQs. Download the course syllabus.

“What I’ve learned from Oren has made communication in every aspect of my life more satisfying.”
— Jan McClure, Registered Nurse

What You Receive

Transform your communication and build better relationships.

 
 

EACH COURSE INCLUDES:

  • Video teachings on core aspects of communication.
  • Guided meditations on cognitive, emotional, and somatic aspects of dialogue.
  • Detailed instructions for individual reflection, journaling, and partner practices.
  • Reference materials, articles, and worksheets exploring key principles.
  • Actionable tips for written communication.
  • Bonus content like FAQs and additional resources.

YOUR ENROLLMENT ALSO INCLUDES:

  • Monthly live Q&A with Oren for coaching.
  • Weekly instructions for optional partner practice exercises.
  • Lifetime access to all course materials and updates.
  • Practical guides for continuing your training.
  • Certificate of Completion in Mindful Communication (12 hrs per course with reading and practices).
  • Bonus Discount: Get 35% off Say What You Mean on Shambhala.com when you enroll.

Live Q&A Schedule

Get access to three months of live Q&A and interactive coaching with Oren with each course (six months with the course bundle). All sessions are recorded and available until the next one. Upcoming dates and times:

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“An exceptional class for anyone interested in building capacity to achieve win-win outcomes and a more compassionate world. Highly recommend this fun, engaging, rewarding and well structured course.”
— Crystal Johnson, IT manager

Is this course right for me?

Join thousands of others who have taken this transformative training.

This course is right for you if:

  • You’ve ever struggled to find the right words in important moments

  • You want to improve your relationships and express yourself with confidence

  • You’re looking for tools to handle conflict and reduce anxiety in conversations

  • You want to build stronger, more meaningful connections in your life and work

Whether you’re new to mindful communication or looking to deepen your skills, this course has something for you.

Oren’s students include psychologists, therapists, doctors, nurses and healthcare practitioners, chaplains, teachers, writers, artists, life coaches, lawyers, police, engineers, civil servants, and many more.

“I loved Oren’s online course… It has given me insights into my own communication style and many practical strategies to improve my conversations.”
— Yin Mee Cheah, Educational Consultant
 

Sample Lesson

(from Part I, Week 2 on Relational Awareness)

 
This month only: $50 off course tuition, plus a free signed book.
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Course Content: Part I

Learn the foundations at your own pace.

Part I provides step-by-step training to transform communication habits and learn new skills for dialogue. Follow the weekly structure of go at your own pace. Includes three, monthly live Q&A sessions with Oren. Download course syllabus.

Week 1: Leading with Presence

Week one explores how and why this training works, offering tools for mindful presence as the first foundation for effective communication. It covers Chapters 1 and 2 of Say What You Mean and establishes essential self-awareness practices for the entire training.

Week 2: Relational Awareness

Week two offers strategies to deepen presence and “relational awareness”. It covers Chapter 3 of Say What You Mean and gives a range of options for developing your capacity to stay connected to yourself while engaging with others.

Week 3: The Power of Intention

Week three delves into our habitual conflict conditioning, the powerful role intention plays in conversation, and the difference between our intent and the effect of our actions. It covers Chapters 4 and 5 of Say What You Mean and outlines specific tools for developing clearer, more helpful intentions in dialogue.

Week 4: Listening to Understand

Week four trains you to hone your listening skills, the basic building block of communication. It covers Chapter 6 of Say What You Mean, and explores how to listen to understand and strengthen our innate capacity for empathy.

Week 5: A Transformative View

Week five explores the transformative view at the heart of Nonviolent Communication, the understanding that all action and behavior can be seen as an attempt to fulfill underlying, universal human needs. It covers Chapter 7 of Say What You Mean and offers practice strategies for applying this concept in your daily life and conversations.

Week 6: Handling Emotions

Week six discusses the role emotions play in conversation. It covers Chapter 8 of Say What You Mean and provides tools to disentangle the blame game and speak constructively about emotions.

Week 7: Healing and Resilience

Week seven guides you to enhance the level of wellbeing you experience in life and relationships. It covers Chapter 9 of Say What You Mean and outlines key practices for healing and resilience.

Week 8: Speak Your Truth with Love

Looking ahead to Part II of the course, week eight explores several key principles for self-expression. It offers accessible practices to find your voice and speak directly with clarity and kindness in any situation, as well as as tips for how to continue your practice beyond this training.

Bonus Content

At the end of each week of our course, you’ll find a downloadable summary of the week’s take-aways, as well as bonus reference material such as articles and videos elaborating on key concepts. The final section of our course provides detailed suggestions on how to continue your practice, including:
  • Tips on continuing to meet with your empathy buddy
  • Instructions for forming your own NVC practice group
  • Resources for additional NVC learning
  • Selected reading list

Course Content: Part II

Enhance your skills with the complete training.

Part II offers an additional eight weeks of intermediate level training in self-expression and skillful dialogue. Follow the weekly structure or go at your own pace. Includes three, monthly live Q&A sessions with Oren. Download course syllabus.

Week 1: The Freedom of Observing

Week one explores how the power of clear observations contributes to inner freedom and provides a context for conversations with others. It covers Chapter 10 of Say What You Mean, and offers strategies for honing our skill in observing, identifying, and transforming reactive judgments of ourselves and others.

Week 2: Moving Conversations Forward

Week two offers strategies to build trust and understanding by making requests that strengthen connection. It covers the first half of Chapter 11 of Say What You Mean and gives specific language for attending to the thread of connection in any conversation.

Week 3: Powerful requests

Week three explores how to identify what you want more clearly, develop multiple strategies to meet needs, and make powerful requests that create change. It covers the second half of Chapter 11 of Say What You Mean, and outlines options for working collaboratively to attend to as many needs as possible in a dialogue.

Week 4: Making NVC Natural

Week four trains you to integrate all that you’ve learned so far in a way that feels natural and authentic to your voice, style, and culture. It reviews material from Chapter 7 of Say What You Mean, and suggests a range of options for making the language and form of Nonviolent Communication your own.

Week 5: The Dance of Dialogue

Week five provides several maps and tools to understand the different phases of a conversation. It covers the first half of Chapter 12 of Say What You Mean and introduces the versatile skill of tracking different aspects of a dialogue.

Week 6: Navigating Conversations

Week six discusses how to navigate the unpredictable twists and turns of a dialogue. It covers the second half of Chapter 12 of Say What You Mean and provides tools to interrupt skillfully, close loops, redirect, and be succinct.

Week 7: Challenging Conversations

Week seven guides you to stay grounded and clear in tense moments. It covers Chapter 13 of Say What You Mean and outlines key practices to prepare for, engage with, and learn from difficult dialogues.

Week 8: Repairing Ruptures and Bringing it All Together

Week eight introduces unique material not found in the book on how to apologize skillfully and repair relationships. It also covers Chapter 14 of Say What You Mean, reviews key learnings on self-expression, and provides a range of practical tips for integrating the skills beyond this training.

Bonus Content

At the end of each week of our course, you’ll find a downloadable summary of the week’s take-aways, as well as bonus reference material such as articles and videos elaborating on key concepts. The final section of our course provides detailed suggestions on how to continue your practice, including:
  • Tips on continuing to meet with your empathy buddy
  • Instructions for forming your own NVC practice group
  • Resources for additional NVC learning
  • Selected reading list
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October Special: Save $50 + get a free copy of one of Oren’s books or Marshall Rosenberg’s classic title. While supplies last.
“Do whatever you can to learn from Oren. This course is worth every penny from your pocket and every minute of your time.”
— Tracy Masington, Psychotherapist
“I can’t recommend this class enough! It’s greatly improved the level of understanding and real connection in all my interactions.”
— Kris Kramer, Filmmaker
“The most mindful, thoughtful, well-organized online training I’ve ever done, with a teacher who is kind and incredibly skillful.”
— Kelly, Writer and Yoga Teacher
 
Taxes: Prices do not include VAT, state or local sales tax, which is automatically charged and remitted by our processing vendor based on your location.
 

Got questions? Check out our FAQs.

Meet Oren


Oren Jay Sofer

Oren Jay Sofer has practiced Buddhist meditation and Nonviolent Communication for over two decades and teaches internationally. He holds a degree in comparative religion from Columbia University and is a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner for the healing of trauma.

Born and raised in New Jersey, Oren is the author of several books, including the best-seller Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication and Your Heart Was Made for This: Contemplative Practices to Meet a World in Crisis with Courage, Integrity and Love. His teaching has reached people around the world through his online courses and guided meditations. A husband and a father, Oren lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where he enjoys cooking, time in nature, and home woodworking projects.

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Testimonials

What participants have said about Oren's courses

“Oren’s online course was one of the best learning experiences in my 30+ year career!”
— Stace Williams, Leadership Development Consultant
“This online course is exceptional! It provides invaluable information for creating better communication skills… evokes profound insight, and the cultivation of a wise heart to our relationships.”
— Marsha J. Gehl, DC
“Oren is a master facilitator. His class will teach you how to manage conflict, embody empathy, and connect with what really matters in every situation.”
— Joshua Berkowitz, Mindful Instructor
“This is some of the best money I’ve ever spent... This course has helped me strengthen my relationship with myself and deepen my connection with others.”
— Rachael, Hartford, CT
“Oren’s warm and skillful approach to teaching makes effective communication relatable for anyone… You may just find yourself saying, I wish I was taught this years ago!”
— Barbara Crowley, Newburgh, Maine (retired RN and Certified Health & Wellness Coach)
“This course has been such a gift. Say What You Mean is a roadmap to healthy relationships - with myself and the people I care about.”
— Kate, CT
“The skills I developed studying with Oren have been extremely valuable in both my professional and personal interactions ... I can’t recommend his highly beneficial trainings enough.”
— Dr. Michael Aanavi, PhD, LAc
“Oren’s course was a complete game changer for me, and I can’t stop recommending it to everyone who will listen... It’s improved my work, my son and I have a healthier relationship, and my marriage is stronger and so full of love.”
— Rosanna Stephens, Knowledge Manager, Technology Corporations
“The combination of mindfulness and communication skills in Oren’s course dramatically shifted how I engage in conversation. What I’ve learned ... has had an enormous impact on my life in both my personal and professional relationships.”
— Dr. Patricia L. Huertas, MD
“This course is a gem. The insights and tools Oren provides are universally relevant and immediately applicable, making a profound impact on communication and relationships in every aspect of life.”
— Anonymous

Frequently Asked Questions

Questions? Please check our extensive FAQ. If you have a question not listed here feel free to email us.

Course Content

What is the difference between Part I and Part II?

Part I is an introductory level course that supports you to bring the foundational principles of Say What You Mean, into your life and relationships. It covers chapters 1-9 of Say What You Mean, including core tools for presence, listening, and self-empathy.

Part II is an intermediate level course that builds on the foundations of Part I and guides you to express yourself clearly and directly. It covers chapters 10-14 of Oren’s book, including advanced skills for navigating challenging situations. We ask that you complete Part I or equivalent training before starting Part II.

I took Oren’s Say What You Mean online course live. Is this different?

Oren ran his live course for five years, from 2019-2024. Each year, based on participant feedback, he updated the course with new material, stories, and examples. If you took his courses before 2023, you will find some new content in this version of the course. The video lectures for this online course series were recorded during the live sessions for Part I in Fall 2023 and for part II in Winter 2024. If you participated in those courses, the lecture content will be the same, but some written materials have been added, modified, or updated. Past participants may find these new versions of the online courses helpful in reviewing and practicing the material. 

Do the courses include Oren’s book? Do I need to purchase it separately?

Say What You Mean is not included in your course registration fee. You can purchase it online from many vendors or at your local bookstore. Your local library may also carry it. It is available in paper, as an eBook, or as an audiobook.

Is there an online forum associated with this course?

We are not offering an online forum for these courses at this time. However, we are open to feedback and your requests! Depending on the volume of registration and the feedback we receive, we may consider adding a community forum at a later date.

How many hours does it take to complete each section of the course?

We encourage you to reflect on your learning goals and be realistic about how much time you can devote to the course. Since we have students with a wide range of prior experience, we like to provide enough material so there is something appropriate for everyone, whether you are brand new or a seasoned practitioner.

We suggest allotting a minimum of 2-3 hours per week to watch the course videos and complete the readings. For those interested in diving deeper (or who are repeating the course), we offer up to three more hours of additional material in each week. This includes journaling assignments, guided meditations, individual and partner practices, as well as bonus material (responses to common questions and additional resources). 

Can I complete the course in less than 8 weeks? Can I take longer? 

Real transformation takes time. We’re not interested in quick fixes that vanish when things get hard. Over many years of teaching this material, we’ve found that people are able to absorb and retain the material best when they take at least one week for each lesson.

Thus, the course material is set to unlock one week at a time. This means that you will need at least eight weeks to complete the course. You are also welcome to take MORE than one week per section.

How can I take Oren’s “Authentic Communication” Part III course?

There is currently no on-demand version of Oren’s “Say What You Mean, Part III: Authentic Communication.” This course offers an in-depth exploration of tools for self-expression, including material on setting boundaries, working with anger, and apologies/repair. Oren may offer another live Authentic Communication course in 2026. Check our events schedule or subscribe to his newsletter for updates.

Payment logistics

How does the course bundle work?

If you select the course bundle option, you will automatically receive a 50% discount on Part II. If you select Part I, you will also have the option to add Part II to your cart upon checkout and receive the discount. Please note: the special discount is not retroactively available if you purchase Part I alone and later choose to continue your training with Part II.

Do you offer scholarships?

Yes. If the requested course tuition would be a hardship for you, we offer sliding scale options for each course. Please email us at admin@orenjaysofer.com and let us know which course(s) you would like to take, and what amount would be sustainable for you to pay for each. We will reply with the nearest sliding scale option. (Note: we do not offer scholarships for the “course bundle” product, but can offer you a scholarship for each individual course if you’d like to take both of them.)

Do you offer payment plans?

Yes, we offer payment plans in four monthly installments. To set up a payment plan, please email us and let us know which course(s) you would like to take (Part I, Part II) and we will send you a link to register on a payment plan. We do not offer payment plans for the course bundle.

Do you offer group discounts?

Yes. We provide discounts for groups of 4 or more. Please feel free to email us and let us know how many people you would like to enroll for a group discount rate.

What’s your refund policy?

We offer a 14-day, no-questions-asked money-back guarantee. If you’re not satisfied with the course training and materials, just email us within 14 days of your purchase and we will process a full refund less transaction fees. (Please allow 7-10 business days for the refund to appear on your end.)

Please note: there are no refunds more than 14 days after your purchase, and we do not offer partial refunds. This means if you register for the bundle (Part I and Part II together) and decide after completing Part I that you don’t want to continue with Part II, we will not be able to issue you a partial refund for the Part II component of your bundle purchase.

Live Q&A / Coaching Calls

What are the ‘live Q&A’ or ‘communication coaching’ calls? 

The live Q&A sessions (sometimes called “communication coaching” calls) are group zoom calls with Oren. These one hour monthly calls offer an opportunity to interact with Oren. You may ask clarifying questions about the course content, or request personalized coaching about a particular scenario or conversation in your life. Over the years of teaching Say What You Mean online courses, many people have found these interactive calls to be extremely useful in integrating the concepts and principles of the training.

When do the live calls occur?

The live Q&A sessions occur once a month, usually on a Tuesday or Thursday from 12-1pm Pacific Time (convert to your timezone here). The dates are posted and updated live in the online course. We also email you once per month for the first three months after you register (or six months if you enroll in the course bundle) with a reminder and a unique Zoom link for each call. 

I can’t make the live Q&A sessions. Will they be recorded?

Yes! We will record each Q&A session.  Recordings will be available for viewing / listening for one month after the session, and then will be deleted.

Do my 3 months of live calls begin when I enroll or when I actually start the course?

Your three months of complimentary Q&A sessions begin when you enroll in the course. However, you don't have to start right away after enrolling: the course content is eight weeks, and you get three months (13 weeks) access to the live calls per course. So there's five weeks of wiggle room in case you need to start later, go slower than one module each week, or take a break partway through.

Those who sign up for the bundle will get three months access for EACH course for a total of six months (26 weeks access to live calls, for 16 weeks of course material). The timeline for that also starts when you purchase the bundle.

Our first live call is January 23, 2025. To ensure everyone gets a full three months access to live calls, anyone enrolling in December 2024 will have their timer start on January 1, 2025.

Can I take a break from the Q&A calls and restart them at a later time?

In general, we are unable to pause and restart your access to the live Q&A / coaching sessions. Since each course is only eight weeks, we provide an extra five weeks of “wiggle room” to account for the regular ups-and-downs of life that might interfere with your ability to attend one of the calls.

If there are extenuating circumstances that significantly interrupts your progress in the course — serious illness, death in the family, natural disaster, war, etc. — we can make an exception and extend your access. Due to the extra time and energy this requires on our end, as well as the extra time built into the Q&A access, we reserve this for true emergencies only.

How many participants will there be on the live coaching calls?

The number of participants fluctuates depending on how many people are taking in the course, how many grads are enrolled, and how many are able to attend live. Currently about fifty people join the calls.

I’ve taken Oren’s class before. Can I enroll in the live Q&A's?

Yes! We welcome all past students of Oren's communication courses and retreats to join the live Q&A / coaching sessions. Please email us for the private link to register.

Can I join the live Q&A's after my 3-6 months of complimentary calls?

Yes! After you complete your course, you are welcome to join the coaching calls at any time for a sliding scale monthly contribution. Information on how to sign up is included at the end of each course.

Practice Buddies

What’s a “Practice Buddy” and how do I get one?

A “practice partner” or “buddy” is someone else taking the course with whom you complete specific communication exercises each week. Communication is a relational activity, so you'll get the most out of the courses if you have someone to practice with. We provide detailed instructions for what to do during your buddy practice sessions.

It’s essential that this person be enrolled in this course (or have taken it previously) so they understand the exercises and skills you’re practicing. We encourage you to invite a friend or colleague to join the course as your practice buddy, or you can fill out a short form and we’ll do our best to match you up with someone.

Can I invite a friend or family member to take the course with me and be my buddy?

Absolutely! We encourage you to reach out to a friend or family member, invite them to register, and practice together. We ask that each individual taking the course register separately (rather than sharing one login). In general, we encourage you to choose someone who you don’t have a lot of communication struggles with, so that in your buddy practice sessions you have the option to explore communication challenges in that relationship without the complexity of activating one another emotionally. 

Other questions

How long will I have access to the course?

When you register you will automatically receive indefinite access to all course materials. If you request a refund within the 14-day refund period, your access to course materials will end when your refund is processed.

Can I download the course materials?

You may download all of the guided audio practices and most articles, worksheets, and reference materials. We do not permit participants to download the course videos. 

Do you offer Continuing Education Credits (CECs)?

We do not currently offer CECs for these courses. However, you will receive a Certificate of Completion certifying 12 hours of online training with Oren Jay Sofer in Mindful Communication for each course you finish.

If you are an educator, you can receive one unit (15 hours) of professional credits for teachers and educators. These credits are provided by Courses for Teachers through the University of the Pacific, which is fully accredited with the Western Association of Schools and Colleges. These units are Graduate-Level Professional Development Semester Units/Credits intended to help teachers advance on the salary scale or to renew credentials. Please see this page for more details.

Can I do the course on my mobile device?

To get the best experience, we strongly recommend using a desktop or laptop computer for the online course. If you use a mobile device or tablet, we recommend accessing the course via your web browser rather than the Teachable app, as certain features will not function properly on the Teachable app on a tablet or mobile device.

Who can I email if I need tech support with the course?

If you need tech support, please email support@orenjaysofer.com and we’ll do our best to help!
This month only: $50 off course tuition, plus a free book as a thank you for joining.
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