Five Mindfulness tools for Pain
One Buddhist meditation teacher is fond of asking his students, “Why does your knee hurt when you meditate?” After entertaining a few answers, he smiles impishly and laughs, “Because you have a body.”
Bodies feel pleasure and pain—that’s their nature. Whether it’s a minor ache or chronic condition, discomfort is a universal part of being alive. Meditation gives us a front-row seat to that reality.
Many meditation techniques involves sitting still for extended periods of time — a perfect recipe for pain. Meditation invites us to meet experience as it is—not to suffer needlessly, but to understand the causes of our suffering and discover new freedom in the midst of it. We can always mindfully shift postures, but we also want to investigate discomfort and learn from the experience. After all, some pain can’t be alleviated.
I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, a painful chronic digestive disorder, when I was 25. A decade later, I faced another challange when I contracted Lyme disease. Living with chronic health conditions has made meditation more than a practice for me—it’s been a lifeline.
The default instruction most meditators receive is usually some variation of, “Be mindful of the pain. Note it. Observe the sensation.” But to be mindful of something is different than simply being aware of it.
Mindfulness includes a degree of inner balance—what Buddhists called equanimity, the capacity to stay open, steady, and non-reactivity amid difficulty. Without some equanimity, we can’t properly observe an unpleasant sensation or investigate it. Instead, we end up just reacting – inadvertently exacerbating the pain by resisting or fighting it.
What’s needed is a flexible set of tools that we can apply to find some inner balance and transform our relationship to pain. Here are five that I’ve found most helpful.
1. FIND COMPASSION
Creating an inner atmosphere of care and goodwill is the first step. In whatever way you can, try to find some compassion for yourself and for the pain. If a dear friend were suffering, how would you relate to them? Can you bring some of that tenderness to yourself? Bringing kindness to pain signals safety to the nervous system, helping the body soften rather than brace against discomfort. Compassion is a universal balm that can begin to soothe any hurt.
2. EXPLORE THE RELATIONSHIP
Notice how your mind relates to the pain. Are you resisting it, tightening, or avoiding it? Are you fighting, getting angry, or catastrophizing? Notice how any mental or physical reactivity agitates the mind and increases discomfort. Are we adding mental and emotional stress to physical discomfort? What would it be like to soften that resistance, even a little? Can you relax any tension and find some balance inside?
3. SHIFT YOUR ATTENTION
Pain can narrow our attention until it feels like there’s nothing else. To find balance, we may need to shift our focus away from the painful sensation to something more pleasant or neutral. This could be another physical sensation like the warmth or tingling in your hands, or another sense altogether, like hearing or seeing. Neuroscientist Norman Doidge has written about how attention can reshape neural patterns, suggesting that deliberately engaging other senses may sometimes reduce the brain’s pain response. If the pain is intense and unrelenting, try zooming out with your awareness, focusing on something broader like sound, space, or the experience of being aware itself.
4. INVESTIGATE WITH MINDFULNESS
When the mind has some care and balance, we can begin to be mindful of the sensations, exploring the experience of “pain” in a direct way. For strong or acute pain, feel the outermost edge of the pain for a moment or two, then shift your attention back to something more neutral. For less intense pain, you may be able to linger and observe longer, discerning more nuanced aspects of the sensory experience: its shape, size, or density; which sensations are present; how they change over time. We discover that “pain” is not one thing but a constellation of sensations—pressure, heat, pulsing, contraction—that arise and pass. From time to time, check your relationship with the sensations to see if any resistance has crept in.
5. REFLECT WITH WISDOM
The aim of meditation is to develop transformative understanding. Step back and reflect on the nature of your body. It’s okay to feel pain. Contrary to the messages of our culture, it’s not a personal failing to get sick or be in pain. We all grow old, get sick, and must die. Can we find some peace and acceptance with the way things are?
There’s one more step – and that’s returning to compassion. Compassion is the beginning, the end, and hopefully the underlying tone throughout. This is more than just feeling tenderness toward your own pain. Compassion connects us to one another. When we reflect, we realize that all beings feel pain.
Recognizing our shared vulnerability can open the heart to compassion for others who live with pain—physical, emotional, or social. This understanding transforms pain from something isolating into something that connects us. Instead of being alone in our suffering, we may find a quiet release as the heart softens and reconnects with the world.
Our knees hurt because we have a body—and because we care enough to sit still and feel what it means to be alive.
Meditation Resources for Pain
For a meditation group specifically focused on working with chronic pain and illness, check out Denise Bardovi’s group here.